Christmas 2009

We had a great Christmas this year! Brian, the girls and I spent a fun Christmas Eve together as a family. Since it was such a beautiful day, we took the girls to one of our favorite parks then went bowling! Sadie, I have to say, is really getting some skills :) After bowling we went home and watched some Christmas movies, then went to bed....well, sort of. I had tried to keep Sadie from taking a nap so that she would go to bed early and "Santa" could come sooner, but she fell asleep at 6:00 p.m. and woke up around 8:00- ugh! Around 11:00 p.m. I thought she was out pretty good, so Brian started putting together Ambrie's present and I went to get Sadie's. Then I hear "Oh, Sadie, you're supposed to be asleep". Yikes! She had come out to see what we were doing. I took her back in the bedroom and laid by her until she fell asleep again. Good thing Santa stays up late, lol!

The next morning, the girls woke up to this!

Sadie changed her mind about a million times when I asked what she wanted Santa to bring her. So he settled on this little Tinkerbell jewelry box that she has been wanting. And Ambrie got a present that is great for both her AND mommy! lol.

Liking the presents :)

Sadie had a completely stuffed stocking! She put its contents to good use right away :)

Then we started opening presents. This is Brian's present from Sadie and Ambrie. Pretty cute if I do say so myself :)

Sadie was a very nice big sister and helped Ambrie open her presents :)

Here's the result of our Christmas morning :) The girls were both completely spoiled but very excited about their new toys and clothes....ok, maybe not about the clothes, but those excited me! :)

This bowling set was in Sadie's stocking. Santa must know how much she likes to bowl!

After we opened presents, cleaned up, and played, Brian headed to Salt Lake to spend Christmas with his mom and brother. He had alot of fun and (jealous) got to see Avatar twice!

The girls and I went to Panaca and had a really good time out there. But I didn't take any pictures! Hopefully I can steal some from my aunt's or Jenna's facebook pages whenever they post some. We had a big family dinner, went skeet shooting, got some great videos of everyone playing Dance Dance with Shane's new Wii....it was alot of fun.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas as well!!!

Six Months Old!

Our beautiful baby girl is six months old! I LOVE this age. Every day she is doing more things and has so much personality. She's still a super happy baby and so much fun! She just cut her second tooth, is getting really, really good at sitting up and has even scooted forward a couple of times. Ambrie is definitely an outgoing baby- she always wants to be in the middle of the action! I'm sure she'll be crawling all over and getting into everything before we know it! :)

We celebrated the occasion with her first taste of rice cereal- yum!!! She wasn't too sure about the first bite..

..but once she got a couple of tastes, she LOVED it! After a few bites she actually started laughing every time I put the spoon up to her mouth.

Watching the spoon and waiting for more!

Yum! A messy and delicious meal!

Sadie's Third Birthday!!!

Happy Birthday Sadie! Our little girl is now three years old. Holy cow, where does the time go? I can't believe she's been a part of our family now for three whole years now. Every day I'm still just amazed to have her in my life. She is such a sweet, wonderful, beautiful little girl. I thank my Heavenly Father for her constantly and I'm so grateful to have her for a daughter. She's an awesome big sister and I know she'll be a wonderful example to Ambrie as they grow older. I love her so much.

We celebrated her birthday on saturday. Alot of family and friends were able to come and we had so much fun. All of Sadie's little cousins on my side came, as well as her friend Taite so she had lots of people to play with. And if I do say so myself, it was an awesome party :) I know I had alot of fun and I think (and hope) everyone else did too! :)

Jazmin and Victor

Showing Curtis some love

Opening presents!

Mom helping out with the present pictures. Sadie (understandably) wanted to keep things moving :)

Showing off some of her presents! She scored pretty well, I've gotta say :)

Sadie's "Princess and the Frog" cake. She picked it out herself.

She looks so serious, but I promise, she was having fun!

Taking the first bite. In our family, we have this tradition that the birthday kid gets to dig into the cake for the first bite. Most of the kids grab a big piece with their hands, or smash their face in. Not Sadie though. We told her to take a bite, and she said "I need a fork". LOL! So we got her a fork. What can I say, the girl has etiquette :)

After the party, we left the men and kids at the apartment so us women could go and do some last-minute Christmas shopping :) Thank you guys!!!

One of Sadie's presents was a little makeup set. She and Jazmin put that to good use right away :)

Voguing for the camera :)

Sadie even shared some of her new toys with Ambrie! What a good big sister :)

I haven't had the camera around lately, so I'm really behind on taking pictures. I decided to get a few that night after the party. Ambrie is getting better and better at sitting every day. Also, check out the little ponytail! Her hair on the sides is really short, but on top she's got a bunch that is long, and I'll be honest, it looks goofy unless I do something with it now :) But I really think she's cute with a little ponytail.

Sitting up....

...and falling over

I haven't taken any pictures of the girls together in a while. Sadie loves holding Ambrie, and Ambrie just adores her big sister!

This is why you don't have a movie playing while you're trying to take pictures, lol!

Potty Training Success!

Ok, I've been haphazardly trying to potty train Sadie since last summer, but she hasn't really gotten it. Every now and then she would go on the potty- maybe four times in a week. So really, not very much. Then yesterday, she woke up and said "Peepee in the potty!" So I took her in the bathroom and she did her thing. I praised her and gave her a treat and asked her if she wanted big girl underwear. She said yes and picked out her Ariel pair.

She went the WHOLE day in underwear. She didn't have a single wet accident, although she had two..umm..."stinky" ones (you know what I'm talking about). Still, I think that's great for her first whole day in underwear, especially considering the day before she didn't do anything in the potty at all! And so far today, the same thing!

I'm amazed. My daughter just woke up one day and decided to potty-train herself. Hooray!!!

An AMAZING Season!

Some things about this Christmas season have been really hard for us. Like so many others right now, we're struggling a bit financially. There's also the separation which has its ups and downs. I'll be honest, I've been stressed, but I really can't think of anybody who DOESN'T stress this time of year :)

However, what I really want to post about is how amazing this Christmas season has been for us and how blessed we've been by friends, family, and the gospel!

I'm not usually a "churchy" blogger, but I am so grateful for my ward, my bishop, my relief society president, and especially my savior right now. Not that I'm not always grateful, but I've really been blessed lately and have been relying more on the gospel and my church leaders than I have in a really long time. Brian and I were kind of inactive before we separated, but we've both been meeting with our bishop and have been going to church together as a family every week since. Its been amazing to me what a difference going to church on a regular basis makes. I really, truly feel happier and more peaceful. I'm also so grateful to our bishop for being so understanding and compassionate.

And I'm definitely thankful for my relief society president Lisa!!! She has been an amazing friend since I've met her. I've always looked up to her and admired what a caring and outgoing person she is. And I'm especially grateful to her for helping the Saturday we moved to our new apartment. I found out friday night that I could start moving in Saturday morning (originally I was supposed to start moving in the next Monday morning). We don't have a truck, but I thought Lisa would know someone who did that maybe we could borrow. I called her and explained what was going on. Within an hour, she and her husband were at our townhome, along with three other men and three trucks! I swear they had all the stuff we were taking moved in an hour or two! It was incredible! Lisa, thank you so much for being such an amazing example and friend! I'm going to miss you when you move to St. George!!!

Something else that has been really special this Christmas is somebody has been doing a "12 Days of Christmas" for us. Every night we find a piece to a nativity set on our doorstep, along with some scripture verses that pertain to that piece. Its been such a special experience to find the piece every night and read the scriptures.

This season has also been quite humbling for me. I'm kind of a control freak, and I like to think that I'm pretty self-sufficient. In fact, I've kind of prided myself on being able to take care of myself and my family without outside help. So its been hard for me to 1)admit I need help, and 2) to accept it. But I think thats also one of the blessings I'm receiving this year. I'm learning to be more humble and accept help from others.

We've been blessed in alot of other ways that I'd rather not blog about, but this really has been an amazing Christmas season! I'm so grateful to have such wonderful people in my life and for the gift of our savior, at this time of year and always. I'm so grateful for everyone who has thought of us, prayed for us, and has served us in any way. THANK YOU!!! And MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Some Times Things Don't Work Out the Way We Hope

Its been a while since I've updated, so I thought I would post a little bit about what's going on with me. Part of it is just to get it out, and part of it is so hopefully I don't have to explain what's going on in person over and over because its kind of awkward and I feel a little bit like a failure right now.

Brian and I are separating, at least for the time being. I'm not going to go into the reasons why because I don't think it would be fair to Brian (you'd only be hearing my side). I will say, since it seems like people jump to this conclusion alot, its not because either of us have been unfaithful in any way. In fact, its not any one reason, but a combination of a few. But it was my choice and my initiative, and I feel like I should fee more sad about it than I do, but I'm honestly ok. In fact, once I was able to work up the courage to tell Brian, I felt really relieved. We've almost separated twice before, but both times we went through marriage counseling (for the same issues we're having now) and we stayed together. But I guess I realized this time around that the issues we've had from the start are still here and I don't think they're going to go away if we stay together right now. And maybe they won't ever go away, I don't know.. So I've been completely honest with Brian, and I think he's doing ok too. We still see eachother and talk every day. He still spends time with the girls every day, and will continue to. In fact, we're probably getting along better now than we have in years. We've both been living in our house, since neither of us had anywhere else to go, but this weekend I'll be moving to a new apartment with the girls. In some ways it will be really hard, but in other ways I'm really excited to start this new phase in my life.

In the meantime, we are also selling our house through a short-sale. Brian has been staying fairly busy with his business, but hasn't been making alot of money, so the payments have really, really been hurting us. I can't afford the payment on my own, and neither can he (and we're not really affording it together) so this seemed like the best option.

With all of this going on, I've had alot of mixed feelings. I'm sad about how this might affect our family and our daughters. I'm sad for hurting Brian, because I know I am and I do care about him. But I'm also relieved to finally be moving in a forward direction (both Brian and I), I'm relieved that he's been handling it so well and that we can still get along. But I also feel like a jerk for hurting him and my daughters, but I honestly wouldn't if I didn't think it wasn't for the best. I really, truly feel this is how things need to be right now- I've prayed about it and talked to my bishop about it, and I truly feel this is the right step to take right now. I don't know what the outcome will be yet, but I know either way we'll ultimately be ok.

Like I said at the beginning of the post, I kind of feel failure. No one wants to be a quitter or give up on their marriage. But I also feel like I've really tried and that I've held onto it for as long as I can, at least for the way it is right now. I think separations and divorces negatively affect children, but I also think growing up in homes where there are issues like the ones we are having between the parents will affect them in harmful ways as well. I'm really, truly trying to do what I feel is best, and I just hope and pray that I'm right.